Our most recent reader submitted question is, “What does love feel like?” Well, there’s a few ways to answer that question, as there are different levels of love. Generally speaking, love feels more good than it feels bad. But specifically speaking, let’s look at the kind of love we assume you’re asking about.
Love is a difficult feeling to describe. Some people have described love a physical sensation, while others describe it as a series of thoughts or even spiritual sensations that lead us to thinking only about one specific person. Perhaps you’ve met somebody and are getting butterflies just thinking about them. Maybe you’ve met somebody and they’re all you can think about. It’s been the driving force of so many artists and so many pieces of art and music.
Maybe Love is the absence of words to describe such a wonderful feeling, usually brought about by another person. In order to answer what does love feel like, you have to have an understanding of what love doesn’t feel like.
Love doesn’t make you feel upset or frustrated, it doesn’t make you want to control or change another person. Love is the result of meeting another person exactly where they are in their life, accepting those circumstances and characteristics, and still wanting to be with them. On the same token, it’s the process of you being accepted for who and where you are in your own life, with an acceptance and appreciation for all of the nuances of who the both of you are; who you become as a couple.
Often times, we worry so much about whether or not what you’re feeling is love, when love is meant to be felt, not necessarily analyzed. There’s a strong occurrence in unhealthy relationships to overlook the negative in the spirit of love. There’s a huge difference between negative characteristics and negative experiences. If your partner is a bit messy or forgetful but means well, this is an example of something that can be overlooked. If your partner is verbally or physically abusive, this is something that should be a red flag that what you’re experiencing isn’t love, and that professional help is absolutely available and should be sought immediately.
Love isn’t an equation of feelings, it’s the mutual sum of your experience with another person. In conclusion to, “what does love feel like?” perhaps the best answer is that healthy love occurs when two emotionally healthy and independent people view their relationship as something they can add to and get their needs met from, while continuing to function independently from the relationship.
Love feels good, especially when you’re in a healthy and loving relationship. If you’re struggling with your relationship with yourself or another person, our coaches are here to help you.